2010 Oscars' Worst Dressed

I hate to admit it, but I was hard pressed to compile a list of the worst dressed. The vast majority fell on the line of safety. There weren't any major fashion disasters which gives me less to write about, but of course I managed to write a citation or two for a few.

Maggie Gyllenhaal

It was certainly an audacious choice for Ms. Gyllenhaal, but she fell flat (no pun intended). First of all the pattern looks like an evening in a jungle. Furthermore, the dress does nothing for her non-existent shape. Get it together Maggie, your brother looked better than you on the carpet. In addition, in the future, do everything necessary to appear youthful because that face says 50.










Miley and Trish Cyrus

Oh dear!!! This looks like a scene from Freaky Friday. Miley looks nearly as old as her mother and Trish is fighting hard to recapture the youth of her daughter. Who shall we start with?

Okay Miley... For once it would be nice to see her in something age appropriate for a 17 year old girl rather than that of a woman 20 years her senior. Both the dress and the hair are just way too old for her. Miley boo, if you are going to try to pull a dress like that off, at least fix your damn posture so you don't resemble Quasimodo. She doesn't even appear comfortable in the dress.

Trish... what can I say? You look like a discontinued, bleached-blonde, sun dried, Malibu Barbie. With that said... the dress couldn't be any uglier if she tried.

Charlize Theron - Christian Dior

Oh Charlize, what were you thinking? This dress would've been fantastic if it weren't for the deflated look of her bosom. You can't help but stare at her chest and not in a good way. The top of this dress is reminiscent of Madonna's coned shaped bustiers/bras circa 1980's.

Last but far from least...

Gabourey Sidibe - Marchesa

Marchesa certainly deserves an award for trying their best to construct a gown for Gabourey. Everyone in the media seems to be skipping around the mulberry bush when it comes to Miss Sidibe. However, I will say what they won't... This is one BIG bitch. GOD DAMNNNN!!! Why are they all afraid to say it?

This dress is terrible. Between the dress and the wig, she looks like a fat, black Scarlet O'Hara from Gone With The Wind... or more like Mammie.

Not even Marchesa could successfully glamorize this girl. While it was nice that they added a capped sleeve, a woman of this monstruously obese size needs a full sleeve. She looks like a smiling GORILLA. At the very least she could've attempted to lose weight before the awards. I know her shoes had to have a 3-inch wide heel with some Nike Shox technology in them.

On the red carpet, Gabourey said, "If fashion was porn, this dress is the money shot." More like the WIDE -SHOT Gabby... this dress certainly spans further than the average "money shot."

Wondering what it took to make this dress? Take a look at the following photos to get an idea.

A few bolts of material, several large spools of thread and a team of sweatshop workers.

P.S. Gabby, please stop wearing those cheap, shiny ass wigs. Buy a damn "lace-front."