Too Much for TV?

I absolutely love Joan Rivers. She is so candid and raw. The only thing that is fake about her is her face. Everyone should know by now that Joan is very protective of her daughter Melissa. She was like a lion protecting her cub on Celebrity Apprentice. While I do believe that her daughter rode to fame on her mother's coat tail... how inappropriate to crack a joke like that while interviewing someone of Joan's celebrity status? The damn nerve of those newscasters to become shocked and offended by Joan's choice of language... "just trying to be funny with her." If you want to be a damn comedian, you're in the wrong line of business. Why should she bother to respond with tact and laugh it off? You tell 'em Joan!

NYC Etiquette

Those living or visiting NYC should be provided with a list of rules for proper New Yawk City etiquette. Being that no one has produced such a list... I've decided to note two from my own repertoire...
1. Always keep right!

• Keeping to your right allows for a smooth flow of traffic. This is especially important during peak flow times i.e. lunch/rush hour.
• This rule is most important when going up/down subway steps or escalators. It creates mass chaos when you don't follow this rule and try to descend on your left while others are coming up on the same side. You think this would be common sense. Additionally, regardless if you are with a child, friend, or mate... when you are on the escalator you should always keep right. The left side is reserved for those in a rush who want to walk up.

2. NO MORE loose change.

• Stop digging for exact change at the register. Not only are you creating more work for the cashier (yes! they have to count hoards of change at the end of the night), but you are holding up the damn line. Women are usually the culprits as they actually have change compartments in their wallets. There is nothing worse than being stuck behind someone who is killing themselves trying to find and count out 96 cents only to realize that they only have 91 cents. Just break the damn bill and build up a piggy bank at home.


• I hate when some broke bastard boards the bus with loose change. The fare is now $2.25, which means at the bare minimum you will be depositing at least 9 coins. Paying your fare with coins is time consuming and once again holds everyone up. The MTA created the "Metro Card" for a reason. In the words of Fergie, "If you aint got no money take your broke ass home."

To be continued...

Long Lost MJ Lovechild?

Okay... as if we haven't already heard enough about Michael Jackson, yet another story emerges. It seems as if every skeleton is coming out of MJ's closet... well all except for himself. The gossip mill is in full effect as rumors have it that Omer Bhatti (early 20's) of Norway is the product of a one night romp between MJ and a Norwegian fan. Bhatti allegedly wants a DNA test as he has managed to convince himself that he is in fact the child of MJ. As seen in the photos, he was seated with the Jackson family during the memorial. Other reports say that Bhatti was just a child MJ impersonator whose performance gained MJ's attention. Rumor also has it that Bhatti lived at the Never Land ranch (hmmph! Him and apparently every other young white boy).

Now, if I may... people are trying to point out a possible resemblance to the late King of Pop. How on god's green earth can this be done when Michael morphed from a Black boy to a White woman? At the time of Jackson's death, I don't believe that there was one natural remaining feature on his face. I'm going to go as far as to say I doubt that Bhatti hasn't had some plastic surgery himself. Take a look at that unnatural looking clef in his chin... Daddy's lil boy I guess. Above and beyond all of that and I know that I am not alone here... It does not seem as if MJ's plat du jour (dish of the day) ever consisted of the female persuasion.

Nas digs deep.

Instead of bringing the boys to the yard, it appears Kelis' "milkshake" is raking Nas through the yard. After an ugly divorce, the court awarded Kelis a settlement of $55,000 a month in alimony and child support. In addition, the rapper must also continue paying the mortgage on their Los Angeles home.

With that said... I'm assuming Nas isn't doing that well for himself if all Kelis has managed to get is $660,000 a year. Though dont' get me wrong... that is more than a sufficient amount to keep her from moving back to Harlem.

Let's face it people... Celebrity couples just don't last. The longest lasting celeb arrangement I've seen is Goldie Hawn and Kirk Douglas and I guess they just don't make 'em like that anymore.

Note to Celebs: Get yourself a bottom dweller and an iron clad prenup... I guarantee you'll have a partner for life. Hell you can cheat on them and they'll stick in there through thick and thin.